Thursday, November 5, 2009

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent. -Gandhi

I love chaos.

I stay glued to the news whenever the shit hits the fan.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want anybody to get hurt, or worse killed.

When disaster strikes, whether it be natural, accidental or carried out by man, I am absolutely captivated. I find myself wondering what it would be like to be waiting to hear that a loved one is okay and all the emotions and thoughts that must be running through their heads. Wondering what it would be like to be going about your day as normal and all the sudden some crazy tragedy is taking place right where you are.

Today there was a mass shooting at Ft Hood. A soldier was one of the shooters. Not just any soldier, an Army psychiatrist. I'm not one to be emotionally affected by these events... just captivated. I didn't cry when 9/11 happened. Maybe it's because I have that military tie. Maybe it's the fact that BB was at one point stationed there and despite his abrupt exit, I still can't help but imagine what he must be feeling. He still knows people back there. He lived there. I'm just bothered by this event and I can't really figure out why.

They keep talking about the mental strain this war is taking on the soldiers, the multiple deployments and PTSD and what not. Ft Hood is where soldiers are sent to "reset" from combat stress. I've seen the effect that combat and the war have on people, my people. This war... whatever it does or doesn't do... no matter how good the outcome is (which, in my opinion, isn't going to be a world changing positive outcome)... there's still thousands of troops who will suffer mentally for the rest of their lives. Some will suffer so badly that they will end their lives, and apparently the lives of others, because the mental suffering is just too much to deal with.

It's so fucking unfair, but at the same time it's what these guys sign up for. Why the Hell isn't the government doing more? Yeah, there's the VA but the military is so prone to having this hard ass attitude that the ratio of people that need help and the actual number of people getting help is so skewed. The exit counseling is a joke. So many of the guys straight up lie just so that they won't be labeled as crazy. Military personnel shifting to civilian life are basically fucked because they have been in this insanely structured environment for so long that they don't know how to act like a normal person.

I'm just... flabbergasted.

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