Saturday we went shooting and then went to this benefit for a woman whose husband had been killed by a drunk driver and then hung out and watched football and sat in the hot tub for about 8 hours.
I enjoy the time I spend with Mr Man immensely. I have feelings for him, but I feel like this whatever-it-is is progressing at a much more comfortable rate then it was with Crazy D and BB. We go on dates, have fun, text when we have something to say and there's no drama. I kind of like where things are right now.
E-Spang thinks I'm in a fantasy relationship. The fact that he hasn't met my kids and I've spent all of 5 minutes around his negates any significance between Mr Man and I. She thinks we should throw real world time in there to make it real.
This is where I run into a conundrum.
At this point, I do not feel it necessary to introduce the kids to Mr Man or to spend lots of Q.T. with his kids. I don't feel that we're at the level of seriousness. When do you reach that point though? The more time I spend with Mr Man and the more we learn about each other, the more I like him. It's only logical to think that if things keep progressing as they do, I'm eventually going to fall in love with him.
So... say I fall in love with him, the kids get introduced and he pulls a BB and decides he can't hack it with the kids. What then?
On the flip side of that is, so you start off each relationship with kids being introduced immediately and you basically start off playing "one big happy family" from the beginning and everyone gets attached. What happens when you break up?
I just don't think it's healthy for the kids to meet every guy I date. I guess it's just a risk I'm going to have to take in the dating world that some people are going to love me, but not the rest of the package, some people are going to love me and the idea of the package, but not the reality of it... and a special few will love me and the rest of the package.
I'd rather prefer to get my heart broken later down the road, then to subject my kids to getting let down if something doesn't work out with someone that they've formed an attachment to. They're already going through that with their dad and I just... I can't do that again. I probably won't ever be 100% sure that someone is "The One"... but I want to be as close to that as possible before I let them have the privilege of meeting my kids.
So, here's the deal. I'm gonna roll with this Mr Man deal. I'm not going to force this relationship to be serious faster than it should. I'm gonna concentrate on getting done with school and getting the divorce finalized (Nov 3 is the final hearing!!!!!!!!!!!!) and getting the kids and I settled. Maybe Mr Man and I will become something more serious. Maybe it'll work out that the first guy that I dated post marriage will be Lucky #2 and I won't ever have to enter the dating world again. Maybe Mr Man is nothing but a temporary distraction. Maybe Mr Man and I will fall madly in love but the extra baggage on both sides is just too much. I don't know... there's a shit load of maybes. The point is, I'm happy right now and I don't really see any reason to rock the boat.
I know this, it's a hell of a lot harder to date as a single parent then it is just as a single.
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