Last night took a much unexpected turn for me. M for some reason couldn't get down here to get the kids until late so I dropped them off with his brother at his dad's house. N, his brother, asked about M's drinking. I told him that yes, M was definitely a drinker (pretty sure a full blown alcoholic) and that was a driving force behind our seperation. This proceeded to turn into a 2 hour conversation about exactly how far off M has fallen. N was devastated and pissed, oh my goodness was he mad. He was around M for less than three days and realized there was a problem and M's dad and grandmother have seen this going on for much, much longer and are just in serious denial. Anyway, looks like he's beseeching me for my help in one last effort to help M.
There's not a snowball's chance in Hell of M and I reconciling, but I feel like M is getting closer and closer to losing what little bit of chance of success he has left and once he loses that, I know he will give up and the odds of him making a horrible decision that will ultimately take him out of his own children's lives will grow exponentially. It would devastate me if my children didn't have their father in their lives because he was too God damn stubborn and prideful to admit that he needs help and that he needs to readjust his hopes and dreams and plans.
Onto a lighter subject, did my mom's hair yesterday... it came out awesome. Love it. Love what I do.
Going with her and the girls to a wine tasting this afternoon for one of their birthdays. I'm excited to do something with grown ups outside of school.
I still miss the shit out of Ben, but I'm not quite as disgruntled as I was. I'm counting on the second weekend of August as to when I will see him next. If I see him between now and then, that's just an added bonus. I like to keep my expectations low, can you tell?
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