Last night, I was laying in bed, A was cuddled up next to me and I could hear C squirming in his sleep. I found myself wondering how in the world I ever got so lucky. Here I am, sharing a room with my two kids in my mother's house. I have not a cent to my name, I'm in the middle of a divorce with a boyfriend living 5 hours away... yet I still feel like I am so insanely blessed.
Even when M and I had money in the bank and all the little pieces of the puzzle seemed like they were fitting together I never remember feeling this content. I never remember stopping and just taking a survey of my life and feeling utterly satisfied with it.
M is in need of a lot of help. I'm dreading this little family conference, especially because I know it's going to break his dad's heart. You know, I'm probably going to be blamed for not bringing every detail to light, but whatever... put all the blame on me if it will get M some help.
I want to help him, but I'm still pissed off that I still have to take care of his ass. Feels like all I've done for the majority of the last 4 years is take care of his ass or cover his ass.
BB comes down this weekend and he is pumped to meet the kids. I am elated. I know I'm going to fall in love with him all over again when I see him with my kids. He is such a good dad to his own, I know that he'll be good to my babies.
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