I have been completely worthless since Sunday night. I'm 99% sure that I have some kicking endometriosis going on and it is causing my life to be less than pleasant. I feel like I've been in labor for DAYS and it is no good for me.
However, it is working wonders for my diet. Partly because I'm not hungry and partly because I needed to go grocery shopping last Thursday and never went so even if I was hungry, the cupboards are bare.
Jeremy's been a wonderful caretaker and has pretty much taken care of the kids since I've been out of commission. The house is in complete shambles, but since I'm alive and kicking, I guess I'll tackle that.
Brooke is coming over tonight for wedding planning!!!! I think that any final decisions as to what I like are going to be posted here; that way I can keep up with what's been figured out and what hasn't.
No working out thus far... Think that will start next week, but I haven't had one cup of coffee and I've had less than one whole can of coke since Sunday.
Okay after that mundane-ness, now we move onto more pressing questions from Soul Pancake:
How do you reconcile discrepancies between reason and faith?
Ha. I don't. I think this is the reason that I'm having such a hard time finding my faith. I can't just take things at face value, I have to delve deeper. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, but when it comes to trying to put reason behind something that I can't see, hear, touch, small or taste... it gets to be impossible. I have faith in the people I love. I know Jeremy will always be true to me and always love me just the way I am. I know that he will always tell me the truth (just as long as I ask him). I know that my kids will always love me, but they will have times that they won't like me. I know this because this is how I'm raising them. I know Erin will always just be a phone call away. I can't say that I have faith in a higher being to lead me out of hardship or that will welcome me with open arms into the afterlife. Hell, I don't even know if I believe in an afterlife. I think to have faith, you have to put a certain bit of reason aside and I'm just not there yet.
What is the interplay between fate and free will?
I am a firm believer in free will. Fate... not so much. I think I believe more in the power of impeccable timing. Take Jeremy and I for instance. We met each other at my dad's retirment party June 09. I have no recollection of us meeting, but he is insistent that we did. He was still with Brandy and I was in looooooooooooooove with Ben. If one of us were single at that time, it wouldn't have made a difference. If both of us were single at that time, I still don't think it would've made a difference. I wasn't at the place I needed to be for a serious relationship (though I thought I was with Ben). Then, we both got single around the same time and were introduced and the rest was history. Impeccable timing, not fate. I think that everybody has the opportunities to have their "dreams come true" but sometimes it comes at a time or a form that we're less than thrilled with because they're not what we imagined.
How do thoughts affect reality?
HUGELY! I believe you can think yourself happy and magically, your life is filled with nothing but sunshine and rainbows. If so inclined, you can think yourself into despair and your life is one big huge tragedy. Thinking that I could keep my marriage together and that things would get better kept me married for far far longer than it should've. It's easy to be overwhelmed by things that get thrown at you, but if you don't let them consume you and deal with what you can, when you can... things get A LOT easier.
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